I'm Robert Scafeof the expository writing program here at OU, and in this video I'll introduce you to the art of writing a clear, coherent thesis statement. A thesis is a concise statement of your essay's overall argument that's usually found near the end of the introduction.

Most writers put it there because that's where the thesis can best perform its two jobs: namely, making a claim that responds to the problem raised in the introduction and forecasting some

specific ways the essay will support that claim.

That's a lot of work for just one or two sentences, but it's manageable if you divide the work into its two parts: the claim and the support. Once you recognize that a thesis should have both these parts it's easier to revise by breaking the work down to these questions:

Does my thesis actually have both the claim and support? Is my claim original enough that it requires further proof? and are my supporting points arranged like the plot of a story rather than simply listed?

So why does your thesis need to have both a claim and support? Let's look at a few examples from a paper about captivity narratives. Captivity narratives are a genre of colonial writing where a European settler captured by Native Americans tells the story of his or her life of captivity. Read each example and decide whether the statement has both a bold claim and specific support.

Okay, let's see if any of these thesis statements combine a strong claim with some specific support for the claim. "A narrative of the life of Miss Mary Jemison tells the story of a white woman's captivity among the Seneca Indians in the 18th century."

Does this thesis make a claim that would require any further proof? Not really, it's just a description of the document. So let's try another one.

This paper will analyze Jemison's description of family life, morality and violence in Seneca culture.

Did you think this was a thesis statement? You might have, because it does one thing a thesis should - it points forward to the content of the essay by including key terms like "family life," "morality," and "violence," but this statement still lacks the most vital ingredient for a thesis: a claim that would require further proof.

This writer's playing it too safe because you can't really imagine someone contesting that statement that Jemison talks about family life, morality, and violence. So let's see if option three does any better:

"Jemison challenged stereotypes about savages by placing her violent kidnapping in the context of Native American values of warrior honor and family loyalty.

Does this thesis have a claim? Yes, the main claim is that Jemison's story challenge negative stereotypes about native americans.

You can imagine someone disagreeing with that. Perhaps she didn't succeed in

helping her white readers understand the terrible violence in her story.

Notice too, how making a risky claim like this compels the writer to back it up with some support by gesturing toward ideas of family loyalty and warrior honor that she'll discuss in the essay

the writer is saying "I know it's surprising that Jemison overcame her readers fears of native violence, but I promise to prove it by revealing the themes of family loyalty and warrior honor in her story." So this thesis is both bold, but it's also believable. Now that I've shown you what a thesis with both claim and support looks like, let's look at a few tips for getting to that point. The first step toward developing a thesis is to find a claim that's bold and original, that goes beyond the obvious reading don't play it too safe. Instead, strive to make your readers think

"Hmm? How's it gonna prove this?" A great way to test the edgeiness of your thesis statement

is to go ahead and spell out another view that it calls into question.

'Although you might think this, I contend that' is a tried-and-true formula for this thought experiment.

Let's imagine how our writer might have done this.

I suspect this writer was surprised by the sympathetic treatment of Native American culture that she found when she read Jemison's story, and by how it seemed to contradict some of the negative stereotypes she saw and other sources. So to highlight what's new and unexpected in

her thesis, she might have done a thought experiment like this: "Although Jemison's descriptions of terrible violence seem to confirm eighteenth-century prejudices against savages,

I contend she portrayed Native Americans sympathetically." You can see how the thought experience works, by making her own claim the underdog to the more well-known view, she forces herself to look for some support for her claim.

Eventually this led her to add family loyalty and warrior honor as the specific support for her thesis claim. Tip number two for refining your thesis is to plot your supporting points so they suggest a story that develops as it moves forward.

Notice the difference between one of our preliminary theses and the final version. The working version simply lists family life, morality, and violence as three unconnected aspects of Seneca culture.

There's no sense which is more important, which comes first, which caused which.

Now, there's nothing wrong with making a list of the key terms from your

supporting proofs to put into your thesis, but in your final version try to connect some of your key terms with strong verbs or other linking words. Instead of always using 'ands' to connect the points on your list, use words that suggest the plot of your essay's story.

What's more important than what? What caused what? and so on. In our thesis, for example,

the author uses the verbal phrase "placing her violent kidnapping in context" to explain what family morality and warrior honor did to the violence in the story: they contextualized it.

We don't just have three unconnected ideas on a laundry list, we have a statement about what influenced what.

We can imagine how the story will start and end because the author will have to show what needs to be put in context, the violence, before she writes about family morality and most important of all, warrior honor. We can imagine how the story will start and how it's going to end. For more on how to set up a strong claim for your thesis please view the introduction tutorial on this website, and if you want to see more on how to make your essay more like a story than like a list check out the bridge sentences video.