Everything in my life felt out of control,
except my eating.
Everyone lied to me about my weight.
They said I was thin;
I knew that wasn't true.
I felt empty, so I ate.
Then I felt guilty, so I got rid of it.
Once I started eating, I couldn't stop,
no matter what anyone said or did.
These are the voices
of feeding and eating disorders.
These affect millions of Americans
and usually begin during adolescence.
Self-image, food, eating, and body weight
each become a source of serious anxiety for people,
and they experience distorted thinking
and behaviors that cause problems in their lives.
These disorders can even be life-threatening.
I know; one of these voices is mine.
My own diagnosis was anorexia nervosa.
I know now that it can be one of the most
dangerous of all mental health disorders.
I'm so glad that I got help.
Anorexia is diagnosed when someone
restricts food intake and loses weight
until he or she is significantly
below a healthy body weight.
In my case, I got really underweight,
although I didn't see it that way.
My menstrual cycle stopped and I was exhausted.
I didn't worry about those things
because I also felt great.
Feeling in control of something in my life
made it easy to deny there was a problem.
A lot of people with anorexia feel the same way.
But if it's left untreated,
anorexia can cause some really serious medical conditions
like bone and heart problems,
and even lead to death.
There are other feeding and eating disorders,
including binge eating and bulimia nervosa.
In binge eating disorder,
people eat large amounts of food
in a really short period of time.
They feel out of control and helpless
about their desire to eat, yet they can't stop.
Binge eating disorder can also lead
to a lot of medical problems,
like obesity, high blood pressure
and cholesterol, and diabetes.
People say they feel disgusted with
and ashamed of themselves,
which may be a result of the behavior,
but also might promote the behavior.
Bulimia nervosa also includes binge eating.
Feeling upset with themselves,
people then try to compensate
with purging behaviors.
Purging can be done through
intentionally vomiting, using laxatives,
or exercising excessively.
People develop problems with their teeth from vomiting,
including worn or decaying enamel and pain,
and can also experience a sore throat,
dehydration, or stomach problems.
As with other disorders,
people with bulimia also feel
a great deal of shame
and try to hide their binging and purging.
When I was a teenager,
my parents got me medical treatment
that included a stay in the hospital.
I didn't want to at the time,
but now I know it was the right thing to do.
I was in a medical crisis.
A dietician worked with my treatment team
to help create a healthy eating plan for me to follow.
I also participated in CBT-E,
or Enhanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
It's specifically created for eating disorders
and helped me change my thinking
around food, eating, and my weight.
I learned that I had a pretty unrealistic
image of what I looked like,
and CBT-E helped me understand
and slowly change it.
My family was also involved in my treatment,
which really helped.
Each piece of the program I did
is backed by evidence saying it works.
Other therapies are proven to work, as well.
Interpersonal therapy, or IPT,
helps people understand their eating behaviors,
as well as how they interact
with people in their lives.
Finally, some people with eating disorders
get benefits from medication,
which helps with those stubborn thoughts,
as well as the depression and anxiety
that often comes along with these diagnoses.
My experience with anorexia nervosa was life-changing.
I understand now that food can become
more than just food for some people;
it can take over thoughts and feelings.
But with evidence-based treatment,
they can get their lives back
and develop healthy relationships with food.
I know; I did.