[DOWNBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] RICH: When I finally sat in front of the doctor, and they said, this is schizophrenia, my reaction was half and half. It was relief because I knew what I was dealing with, but also, I feel that label was a heavy one to bear, so I don't feel like it was one I could share, even. 

Where everything began with my mental health problems or issues, I think it was around 16. I'd just finished high school. There was a lot of stress going on there, and I had a new relationship, exams coming up. So there was a lot to balance already. 

And I'd say things started very subtly and very slowly, feelings of being anxious and being paranoid. But I don't think at the time that was anything different or kind of strange. It just kind of-- I felt that was normal. I'd have certain thoughts I can reflect on now. Well, that behavior isn't normal, to kind of avoid mirrors or block up gaps in doors and things. But at the time, my friends didn't pick up on things. I would say only after a few years did people start to realize that something wasn't right and comment on it. 

I would say things did start with visuals, but it was very subtle. It was moving ground. It was distortions, the melting of objects and furniture, insects crawling on my skin. It would almost feel like spiders or things beneath your skin, or like you can't get rid of an itch. And I think this would gradually move on to the voices, and this dominant male voice in my head commanded me to do things. But this voice would kind of grow into someone who put me down and knocked my confidence in a big way. 

You just end up this emotional wreck of crying and kind of irritated. And I was afraid for my life, so I just wanted to be more to myself. And I would say that's where I jumped into my creative world, even. I think drawing and designing little characters and stories became so much to me that I developed that side and escaped into that, rather than with my friends. 

I was with my girlfriend at the time, and she was the one who first prompted me to go and see a doctor or seek help. Things got more severe. I think things got more vivid. I saw some fish on the floor in the car, and I kind of got more distressed as I thought, there's fish swimming about. It's filling up with water. 

And her reaction to that, that this wasn't happening, made me realize, this isn't normal, not everyone experiences this, and I need to get some help. The GP at the time did prescribe me some antidepressants, which over time would grow to antipsychotics. And although they would help in some way, they would take away the racing, they'd take away, I'd say, the volume of the voices, and they would take away the visions, they'd take away part of me as well. 

And I think that's something I'd always struggle to communicate. It slows me down. It makes me fall asleep. It doesn't make me feel like Richard, basically. It made me feel like I was wading through mud in my head, and I didn't want to feel that way. And so that's not the pathway I've chosen to take. I would rather struggle and be me than be dosed up on medication and not be recognizable.