- Hi, it's Wayne Turmel from Remote Leadership Institute again and today we're looking at conflict on remote and hybrid teams and how do we as leaders handle it. It's very tempting, because we're not there when we see signs of conflict, to basically turn into our parents-- knock it off or I'll knock your heads together-- because that's the answer, right. 

Here's what happens. It's very important, because we are not witness to a lot of what caused the conflict and a lot of what goes on-- our first step is to stop. When we realize there are signs of conflict between team members, we need to stop, listen, ask good open questions, and really understand what's going on. 

We need to give parties a chance to handle it themselves first. Everybody's an adult, everybody's a grown-up. If there is a conflict, rather than allow them to drag you in the middle right away, stop and say, have you spoken to the other party about this? What was the discussion? What was the outcome? And check with both parties to make sure that they have an equal understanding of what's going on. 

If you must get in the middle and arbitrate, have as rich a conversation as you can. This means this is not an email issue. You do not just send an email saying knock it off and it'll magically solve the problem. If you cannot get physically together with the people involved, try using rich technology like webcams, where you can read body language and facial expressions as well as hear in real time. The better information you get, both about the facts and the emotions, the better decisions and actions you'll be able to take. And this requires really good, rich communication. 

When you propose a solution and you've gotten buy-in from both parties, there needs to be metrics. It's the old expression, trust but verify. Emails will be returned within a certain period of time, that kind of thing. And then once a solution has been reached and the metrics set, you can't just assume that the situation is magically fixed. Check in with both parties as needed. But check in after the fact and make sure that expectations have been met, that any changes to behavior are being done, and that things are better. 

Just because you are the leader of the team does not mean you magically have the solutions. Handling conflict requires understanding the situation, getting buy-in from the people involved, and making sure that things have, in fact, gotten better. We deal with a lot of this in a number of our programs, including coaching and feedback at a distance and how to create and manage remote teams. Check us out at Remote Leadership Institute. We'll see you next week.